From Mother to Daughter

I have seen Sarah Kay's spoken word pice, If I Should Have a Daughter, before we watched it in class. I found it just as powerful watching it again after already having seen it. I think that this is a beautiful sentiment from mother to daughter about kindness, tenderness and strength. It reminded me of Jamaica Kincaid's poem Girl; these pieces have striking similarities as well as very notable differences. Both chronicle the lessons that a mother wishes to pass on to her daughter in hopes of preparing her for a successful life and providing tools to cope with the world around them. The tenor is much different, however, and this difference is made greater because of who is writing/speaking the poem. Kay's message is for her (potential) daughter and is founded on idealism. She paints an idyllic picture of nurture and love that she intends to provide her daughter. She is emotional, and she makes us feel emotional through her beautiful use of metaphor and descriptive language and she professes her intentions for motherhood. In contrast, Kincaid recounts the many things that her mother instructed her to do while she was growing up. While surely her mother intended to strengthen and help her daughter, it was presented in matter-of-fact criticisms and orders. There is an edge to these lessons, giving right and wrong ways of being. These are prescriptive lessons that teach how to fit into an existing and seemingly repressive social structure, pruning the daughter to the right shape. Kay's lessons are not like this. They are more abstract and present the world as a place that her daughter can impact. These lessons are more empowering. This makes me think about privilege and advantage. While Kincaid's mother's lessons seem harsh to us, I believe that mothers do what they think is best for their children. It is interesting to think about how each of these mothers see themselves in a larger social structure and how that may impact how they think about their daughters.